It only took Republican Governor of Texas Rick Perry 13 days to make himself look like a complete moron after threatening to secede from the United States.  Speculation of his idiocy occurred immediately after his statements, but we weren’t sure exactly which form the hypocrisy would embody until today.
 
Rick Perry will have to import all those hair metal CDs if Texas secedes. There will also be tariffs levied on wheat, sugar, corn, apples, oranges, bananas, carrots, lettuce, beer, wine, Tamiflu, and everything else that doesn't grow in the middle of a fucking desert. Have fun with that.

Today, Perry begged the federal government for funds to help with a potential outbreak of swine flu in Texas.  Three cases have been confirmed in the Lone Star state.

So Texas thinks that it can survive being its own country, but then freaks the fuck out when it gets three cases of an easily treated strain of the flu?  How the fuck are they going to deal with 100,000 drug-dealing soldiers that will converge on their “country” the second they secede?

Texans, for the love of all that is good in this world, vote your damn governor out and get over the secession business.