White House petition calls for merger of United States, Aust
USINFO | 2013-05-24 13:10

 
AUSTRALIA and the US will merge to form one super nation called Ameristralia. Sound like a gag? Maybe not.
 
A petition has been created on the official White House website calling for the Obama Administration to join "America and Australia to form Ameristralia".
 
The "We the People" section on the whitehouse.gov website was launched in 2011 to allow the public, in accordance with the First Amendment of the US Constitution, to petition the US government on issues deemed important.
 
Recent petitions address gun violence, marijuana legislation and free speech - as well as the release of the White House's secret recipe for its Honey Ale beer and urging the construction of a Star Wars-style Death Star as economic stimulus.
 
If a petition receives 100,000 signatures in 30 days, it will be reviewed by White House staff, sent to "the appropriate policy experts" and an official response issued.
 
VOTE ON THE PETITION HERE AT THE OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE SITE
 
When the Death Star petition received enough signatures, Paul Shawcross, chief of the science and space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, noted a Death Star would cost $US850,000,000,000,000,000 to build and "the Administration does not support blowing up planets".
 
The creator of the Ameristralia petition is someone with the initials D.A. from Beverly Hills, California, and on Thursday it had attracted 4646 signatures.
 
Another 95,354 signatures are needed by May 24 to receive a White House response.
 
The campaign evolved on the social news and entertainment website Reddit.
 
Reddit users have created Ameristralia flags (koala riding a bald eagle) and combined national anthems (God bless Ameristralia, my home sweet home. And you'll come a waltzing matilda with me".
 
"We will rain down freedom and poisonous creatures on our enemies," one Ameristralia supporter excitedly declared.
 
Another said: "The bastard children of the British Empire united at last to a world dominating superpower."
 
An Australian Reddit user supported the merger, but suggested a name change: "Our time zone is first, so logically it should be Ausmerica."
 
Some Canadians on Reddit, fearing living next to the world's new super-duper power Ameristralia, called for its own Pacific merger.
 
"Canada, here. Come on New Zealand! With our powers combined we can be but a nuisance to our numerically superior neighbours!" the Canadian wrote.
 
If Ameristralia, or Ausmerica, does become a reality, it raises some issues.
 
If Mel Gibson gets arrested again, Australians can't call him American.
 
If Lindsay Lohan gets arrested again, Americans can call her Ameristralian.
 
What side of the road do Ameristralians drive on?
 
Will Ameristralia adopt metric, or will inches, miles and pounds be used?
 
Will AFL, NRL and rugby union players be forced to wear helmets and shoulder pads and spike the ball when they score a goal or try ... sorry ... a touchdown?
 
Will cricketers fielding be forced to wear a big leather glove?
 
Can Australians abandon the coming federal election and instead of voting for Julia or Tony invite Barack Obama as the inaugural prime president of Ameristralia?
 
Will the capital of Ameristralia be Honolulu? The Canberra press gallery will be happy, and suntanned.
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