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Married N Happy
USINFO | 2013-08-14 14:17
Steve and I met online in early 1997. We met in real life in the UK July of 1998.
Steve is from England. Even though the language is the same, the meanings are different. Also the way of life in England is a bit different than here in the US. There medical system is socialised. The social life there is far different than here in the US. Foods are also different. Steve is not used to working so much; in the UK almost everyone gets 4 weeks vacation a year. We've both had to adjust to living with someone that was raised totally different. I've learned to cook differently, and Steve's learned to drive on the right hand side of the road.
The biggest problem we've had is the sense of humour and meanings of different statements. He says things that in the UK would be taken light heartedly, but here in the US are taken seriously. I too have said things that he's misunderstood. Now we just stop and talk about it, and also we know more what may be taken the wrong way and try to rephrase it. After almost nine months of marriage, we're starting to not take instant offense.
Since we met online, my family didn't readily accept our marriage. Once they met him and saw how he interacts with myself and my son, they seem to accept him. Most strangers in the area we live in act astonished that we'd do something so "strange". Friends thought he would be an axe murderer or some such thing.
For the most part now, we are working on compromises. Although I think Steve made the biggest compromise of all, moving here to the US, after living his entire life in the same town in the UK. We both will try things the other likes, such as foods, and we both understand there is a difference in cultures, even if we can understand one anothers languages. The holidays we try to make one another feel comfortable, not making it all US or all UK.
I should note that Steve never had any children of his own, so this too has been an adjustment for him, as I've a son by my previous marriage, who is 9. And we have had to go through Immigration, filing adjustment of status. That in itself can put stress on a relationship, but in our case it's both have made us stronger.
Steve is from England. Even though the language is the same, the meanings are different. Also the way of life in England is a bit different than here in the US. There medical system is socialised. The social life there is far different than here in the US. Foods are also different. Steve is not used to working so much; in the UK almost everyone gets 4 weeks vacation a year. We've both had to adjust to living with someone that was raised totally different. I've learned to cook differently, and Steve's learned to drive on the right hand side of the road.
The biggest problem we've had is the sense of humour and meanings of different statements. He says things that in the UK would be taken light heartedly, but here in the US are taken seriously. I too have said things that he's misunderstood. Now we just stop and talk about it, and also we know more what may be taken the wrong way and try to rephrase it. After almost nine months of marriage, we're starting to not take instant offense.
Since we met online, my family didn't readily accept our marriage. Once they met him and saw how he interacts with myself and my son, they seem to accept him. Most strangers in the area we live in act astonished that we'd do something so "strange". Friends thought he would be an axe murderer or some such thing.
For the most part now, we are working on compromises. Although I think Steve made the biggest compromise of all, moving here to the US, after living his entire life in the same town in the UK. We both will try things the other likes, such as foods, and we both understand there is a difference in cultures, even if we can understand one anothers languages. The holidays we try to make one another feel comfortable, not making it all US or all UK.
I should note that Steve never had any children of his own, so this too has been an adjustment for him, as I've a son by my previous marriage, who is 9. And we have had to go through Immigration, filing adjustment of status. That in itself can put stress on a relationship, but in our case it's both have made us stronger.
