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Zombies for Romney claims Florida group
USINFO | 2013-09-03 15:39
Zombies rally for Romney in Ocala, Florida
The total membership of ZUSA is a closely guarded secret, but the FBI, who keeps track of such things, estimates the "total membership at about 7000."
"ZUSA is proud to endorse Mitt Romney for President," said Sarah Palin who, before today, was not known to be a member of ZUSA.
"Like me, Mitt Romney has been dead for over four years, but has clawed his way back from obscurity as an also-ran, failed candidate, to become the leader of the Republican Party, which itself has been dead since 2000 when George W. Bush stole, err, won the election over Al Gore," said Palin.
President Barack Obama and New Jersey Governor Christie took a few minutes time away from their tour of the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy to make the following statement regarding the zombie vote going for Romney:
"It is no secret that this is going to be a close race between myself and Governor Romney. But it is not going to be close enough that the zombie vote can swing it for him. Nonetheless, my advisors tell me that tearing off the head of a zombie is the only way to kill one; so if I tear off Romney's head that will finally finish him. I may just have to do that."
"Romney is a favorite of the Florida zombie crowd, for obvious reasons," said Governor Christie.
