Second, real estate agents are different from other salespeople in that the veterans have their eye on two transactions: the purchase and the resale. When you try on unflattering pants in a department store, the salesman can be enthusiastic because he’s not thinking about having to sell the bell-bottoms again a few years later.

In contrast, Ms. Barbour said, “your agent is trying to find you what you like, but also what will be a good investment, because they have their mind on what will happen when they get the call about being able to resell it 5, 10, 15 years later. What’s this neighborhood going to be like? What’s the market going to be like?” In order to perform that job, which Mrs. Ritter said she considers “a very high calling, because we’re helping out with someone’s new direction,” agents also often analyze customer personality types.

“An amiable buyer or seller is more emotionally driven,” said Thai Klam, the broker-owner of Re/Max 360 in the Greater Houston area. “Can I hold social events here? Can I see my family being happy? They want to know how other people felt. An analytical customer wants the past five years’ historical price appreciations. We just try to relate to them on their personality type to build rapport.”

That language, though, can include misdirects that the speaker isn’t necessarily aware of. Mrs. Ritter, who has 12 years of experience in real estate, said that whatever a customer tells an agent in terms of a time frame, “you have to cut it in half.” If people call her and say that they’re three or four months out from a purchase decision, “what they’re really saying is: ‘I need you to be patient with me. I am cautious, and I am afraid of being ripped off.’ ”

What may surprise participants in the real estate market is that their agents often empathize with them. “When I go to buy a new car, I go into it with a bitter mind-set, since I don’t trust car salesmen,” Mrs. Ritter said. “So it offers me a healthy perspective on how my customers feel. I don’t take it personally when they don’t trust me right off the bat.”

In fact, sometimes agents recognize that not everyone has their same experience at reading signals. Roger Dawson, author of “Secrets of Power Negotiating” (Career Press, 1996) and a former real estate executive, said he would often tell clients, “Let me just take this phone call,” as an excuse to give them a moment alone.
“I have found it helpful to let the husband and wife have a little time together to discuss things,” Mr. Dawson said. “Often they’re not reading each other very well.”